Disrespect...

This is the last straw. I have been extremely patient and professional in dealing with my university regarding the implications of VSU. This has not been reciprocated. Instead, their actions have show incredible contempt towards my staff, Council and even myself. Fair enough, they should have their input as to how their money is spent and to ensure that we comply with legislation. However, they now try to influence the way we govern ourselves. Telling us how our Council should look like? Who the hell do they think they are?! Student control of student affairs. They have absolutely no respect towards students' abilties to govern themselves.

I haven't lost my cool in a long time. I haven't shown my anger for a long time. It's probably been more than 5 years since I have publicly shown my anger. It isn't a pretty sight. I never intended to lose my cool again. This time though, it may well be time. I can't sit back any longer and let these bastards strut their arrogance in front of my face. How dare they question the decisions that my Council and I make. They think international students are stupid? Or are they afraid that we will find out and reveal their disgraceful treatment of international students? We know more than they think we do. Regardless, they've chosen the wrong international student to mess with. They want to play games? I'll give them a game they wish they never started.

Negotiations are always the first point of call. When they fail, you look for alternative methods. This university has never approached negotiations in an honest and open manner. They'll only understand if I stoop to their level. I've had enough. I'm not alone either. They underestimate the influence of students. Upholding their reputation? What reputation would they have if it were not for people like us? The time has come. It would be negligent of me to let them get away after this slap on our faces.

The repurcussions may be huge. But I've got a few tricks up my sleeve as well. I'll show them what it's like to be on the receiving end. Let sleeping dogs lie as they say. They've spat, slapped and kicked us around. Now it's time for them to face that which they brought upon themselves. I'll make them suffer just as much as they made my staff suffer. Let the games begin. A game you can never win...

Breaking sweat...

I started my placements on Tuesday. I'm basically working in a suburbian pharmacy about 30 minutes from the city by bus. Normal work hours but I usually head there half an hour earlier and knock off half an hour earlier as well. The best thing about the place is that I have a really good, laid-back preceptor and the pharmacy assistants are very friendly as well. Ideal working conditions. Only major drawback: a lack of available food.

You see, the pharmacy is in a shoping complex. Well, I wouldn't really call it a shopping complex in the true sense of the word. There's basically a supermarket, newsagency, deli, bakery, discount store and fruit vendor. Not much. On my first day I walked a few hundred meters each direction outside the shopping complex but couldn't find any eating shops. The only places to eat are the deli, bakery or buying something from Woolie's. Imagine just eating sandwiches/rolls/pastries for lunch for a month! Not my typical diet but I need to make do with what I have.

Due to my work commitments, I've had to do my Students Association work after hours. Not easy juggling virtually two jobs at once. Had to come in on Saturday to chair a meeting and catch up on the happenings of the week. Need some breathing space. Thank goodness Tuesday is a holiday. Tuesdays and Thursdays are the worst days for a holiday. No one has the motivation to work a day between holidays (i.e. Mondays and Fridays). Governments should have more discretion during holidays. I know the days themselves have special meanings but it's just not practical. Such a pain.

Weekends are my only chance to relax now. How appropriate then that my internet connection was down and hot water absent throughout the weekend. It couldn't happen at a better time. I've had to boil water and mix it with cold water in a pail to bathe. Troublesome but it does the job.

Well, not much to say to be honest. We'll just take each day as it comes. Just thought I'd touch base again. So back to life...

He is risen...!

Christ is risen indeed! It's been a fun Easter break although I don't get the normal two weeks that other uni students get. I have placements beginning from Tuesday and since my exams ended last Thursday, I've only a total of about 4 days of holidays. The two exams I had for this semester went pretty well. I didn't find them all that difficult but then again, what I think is correct may not be so. Nevertheless I feel that I did pretty well considering I had so much of interruption to my studies. The week prior to exams is supposed to be study week but I had to attend about 4 meetings. Also, the day before my Ethics test I had to chair a 5-hour Council meeting. Talk about a heavy workload!

The Monday after my first paper I bought a shirt after work. It was only $12.50 (75% off the marked price) and looked decent enough. Thursday after exams I took a trip to the beach. Went to watch Scary Movie 4 on Good Friday. It's a really stupid show. So stupid it's actually funny. The audience was bursting with laughter throughout. I still can't get the "Japanese" conversation out of my head. Hilarious! Nothing much on Holy Saturday. After a caucus meeting in the afternoon I went to Genki in Chinatown for dinner and over to a friends place to just hang out. Easter Sunday began with a packed out mass, then lunch with friends, and then finally to a friend's house for a barbie. An unspectacular holiday but enjoyable nonetheless.

The one thing that practically got my blood boiling was the fact that my keyboard got screwed. One of the letters came off the keyboard. I tried putting it back in (as it happened before) but this time it couldn't go in. I ended up taking another key out so I could see how it was attached. In the end, it so happened that the plastic attaching the keys to the board was broken on both of them! I tried fixing a metal thing on the keyboard but then it broke too! From the frying pan into the fire. To put a long story short, my keyboard is basically fucked. I'm having to type without an "O" and "P" key. I can type but it's agonisingly difficult. You can tell I'm extremely ticked off. I doubt that it will be easy to fix even if I brought it to the shop. They'd have to open the laptop up. Instead, I'd have to buy an external keyboard. That's gonna cost. I would be looking for a portable one which would cost even more. In addition, I only have one PS/2 slot that is being used by my mouse. I would then have to have one of them occupying the USB slot. Such an inconvenience! To top it all off, there's no space on my desk for an external keyboard no matter how I rearrange it. Spoilt keyboards are easy to replace for desktops but for laptops it's a whole different matter. I know I've had my laptop for 4 years and it is wearing out as all things do. However, I boosted the specs when I bought it precisely so it could last for a long time. As it is my laptop is still high-end and doesn't lag far behind the newer models. Still, it's such a pain to have to use an external keyboard. Sigh...

Oh well, no use pouting on this joyous occasion. I'm sure it'll all work out in the end. After all, if Jesus could go through such suffering, surely I can get over this minor trial! One more day to enjoy a break before I literally get back to work...

PS. I tend to try and have a mix between diary entries and opinion entries as it gets bored after a while reading my daily activities. For some reason though, my opinion entries don't seem to be getting much of a response. Surely many will have strong views about some of my more controversial posts? Feel free to debate with me. I'm always up for a good argument.

Reality check...

What is reality? The state of life that exists as what we want it to be? Or the state of life that simply is? Reality is something that has been bugging me recently. To get to the point, the answer is that reality simply is; regardless of how we want it to be. For most people, reality is a harsh, cruel and relentless being that swallows up their hopes and dreams. Yet, most people shape reality in their minds to be a life that exists as how they want it to exist. They hide from the true reality and attempt, whether consciously or not, to make their reality the true reality (for want of a better word). It's sort of like how an Extreme Makeover is done in that the actual real person is hidden behind a superficial mask made up of the person's desire.

Humans are weak creatures by nature. Their strength develops through their pursuits and experiences. Most humans build and develop their strength on a foundation that is energised by faith and hope. It isn't surprising then to see the destruction of people we consider as inherently strong when the energy that drives them is drained empty by reality. How then do we deal with the scourge of reality? We either accept and deal with it, or we run and hide from it.

It is impossibly difficult to manage reality. In my current work, I have been branded as a realist by my actions of putting emotion and influences aside and actually dealing with the matter at hand. This however, isn't an accurate branding of my persona. I'd probably consider myself a selective realist. Deep inside, I know that reality is the basic foundation of life and that the most objective way to deal with matters is to look at it realistically in order for it to fit in and be congruent with life as we know it. Despite that, my faith drives me to believe in that which transcends reality. Faith and religion don't necessarily comply with the laws of reality. Yet, its very nature of existance is to transcend reality. After all, reality had to come from somewhere. Despite the advances of science, it has still been unable to fully comprehend the nature of reality. Critics would then argue that religion and faith are merely a way of escaping reality when it sinks in. This holds true in some cases but isn't entirely accurate as well. Faith and religion complement reality but also contradict reality in different situations.

A paradox then! I look at reality as it is but at the same time look at reality the way I want to look at it or the way I believe it to be. Am I then a hypocrite? Aren't all of us? We selectively choose to act in ways which suit us better. It's sort of like saying that killig is bad but is justifiable when we use it in self-defense. In reality, killing is killing regardless of the justification. In our reality though, the difference becomes more obvious.

A reader with a keen eye would at this point say that I have just gone in one full circle. Indeed I have. I had no intention of debating whether it is better to be a realist or to hide ourselves from the true reality. I just sought to raise the issues of both sides.

Now why then did this discussion occur? Well, in my current work, significant changes need to be made in the organisation I am in charge of leading to drastic consequences; one of which involves the potential loss of over 70 staff. Those who aren't involved directly in the process of this restructure criticise some of my actions arguing that it does not fit in with their ideas of how things should be i.e. their perception of reality. Yet, the true reality is that these changes need to be done for the survival of the organisation; regardless of whether or not the changes reflect the way the organisation is perceived as having to be. These people look to avoid the reality of what needs to occur simply because it does not fit in with how they would like things to be. The irony is that the staff who are at risk of losing their jobs have accepted the true reality and are ready to face it head on.

I personally am not concerned about these critics. They are easily dealt with. The difficulty is having to face these staff who will be losing their jobs. We had our staff meeting on Thursday and the General Manager and I had to break the news about the potential job losses. Everyone expected it and we weren't the subject of their disappointment. After all, we did all we can and the rest is beyond our control. As much as I had to keep professional and realistic in my approach of informing them, it pains me to the core to have to do it. Staff I have worked with throughout these last 4 years and who have worked for the organisation for more than 25 years. Staff who after this may not be able to get another job. Having to tell them that they have to go hurts beyond belief. I didn't want to do it. If it were up to me I'd make it so that they could all stay for as long as we could afford them. Yet, the reality is that they have to go for the survival of the organisation. A clear example of how harsh reality can be. I don't normally get hurt by what happens to me. After all, I'll always be able to overcome my own pain. It's when others suffer that my hurt is amplified. As much as I want to, I can't help all of them. I can't guarantee that things will be alright when this is over. I can't save everyone. That is what distresses me. When despite my capabilities, I can't save the ones I care for. No matter how hard I try, things are beyond my control.

What do I do? What can I do? The answer: all that I can do. Save divine intervention, I am only able to do as much as I am able to do. It won't be the answer to all the problems but at least it will be the answer to all the problems I am able to manage. It's a painful and thankless journey. Yet, someone has to do it. It just so happens that that someone is me. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference...

Marching on...

Well, exams are here yet again. My exams this year are early because we'll be going on placements or doing our electives on rotation during the normal semester period. Come to think of it, it's my second-last exams before I graduate. To be honest, I've lost the motivation to study this year. Just been too busy dealing with VSU to be able to focus properly. As it is, I have at least 4 meetings to attend during this week which is supposed to be my study week. I normally schedule my meetings out of this week but these are unavoidable. It's funny how you tend to lose steam and start to become complacent when you are so close to the finish line. I know I just need to push hard in this final lap. Yet, it's as if there isn't much of a prize at the finish line and it doesn't matter anymore which position I cross the line at. Well, regardless I'm managing to squeeze in a significant number of hours into the books. The bright side is that I only have two papers to study for, only one of which requires a strong knowledge base. The other is more of an opinion/general knowledge type paper.

There are a number of things I need to tidy up before I go on placements. I'll also need to prepare for something big. Something never done by Student Union Presidents before. For once in a long time I'll have to open myself up to attacks and dissent from people who don't understand the situation or know the whole story. I'll have to face a potential decline in public opinion and possibly risk the future of my group. Still, it's something I just have to do. It's my cross that I need to pick up. The ultimate determinant of how well I can perform as a leader. Only time will tell.

Life is still interesting. So many things turn up one after the other that I don't have time to feel bored. Don't have time to go into details but I will do once I have the time. Won't be back here for a bit so find another blog to follow while I'm gone...