It's only words...?
It's been a while since I had some thoughts to share. Got one today. It's got to do with those things we call promises.
What are promises? An indication of commitment? Why do we make them? Why do we break them? Promises are a way of letting someone know that we are commited to what we pledge. But when is it a promise? Is it different to say "Alright, I'll meet you at 1pm tomorrow" as opposed to "I promise to meet you at 1pm tomorrow"? Clearly, a promise doesn't have to be formalised by indicating that it really is a promise. Rather, one enters into a promise by committing oneself to an agreement. Probably promise isn't the best word to use. Nevertheless, it is simple and everyone understands it.
So what's the deal with promises? Well, too many people break them. Too many people take them for granted. It's easy to make promises or commitments you can't keep. The difficult thing in many cases is keeping the promises. Why then do people make promises they can't or don't intend to keep? Probably a decline in social integrity in general. The thing that frustrates me the most is people who have the audacity to make claims like "rules are meant to be broken" or "you can't keep all your promises". If that was the case, why make rules or promises at all? Many people disregard the whole principle of making a promise. This is why in modern society, the honour system rarely works.
It's not about not wanting to disappoint someone. For example, if someone asked you to come for a gathering and you said yes even though you don't want to go just so the person doesn't feel disappointed. Then you do a no-show. Is that going to make the person feel better in any way? On the contrary, the person would be expecting you and would feel let-down that you did not show up. On the other hand, if you said no from the beginning then the person would not have any expectations of you aside from an initial feeling of disappointment.
They may only be words. But the words carry meaning. They carry a commitment. Promises shouldn't be promises of convenience. Rather, they should be promises of genuine intent. If not, don't make the promise at all. It saves everyone the frustration and disappointment.
A popular way of breaking a promise (or FFK as Chinese call it) is by giving an excuse and saying sorry. Sorry. The word most taken for granted. It's easy to just call a person an hour before an appointment and say "Sorry but I can't make it". This ignores the fact that the person who was stood up would have been expecting and preparing for the appointment and may have gone out of his/her way to keep it. Sorry isn't a cure. It means nothing without sincerity. I'm not saying that sorry is a useless word. It is in fact one of the most powerful words. However, it is used so often in the most trivial circumstances that it is now difficult to appreciate a genuine expression of sorrow.
The point is, promises should be taken seriously. Breaking a promise may be easy enough to do, but it won't be so for the person on the other end. Sometimes, we make promises we don't like. Regardless, a promise is a promise. It should be kept even if we don't like it. We should do our best to keep each promise we make. If circumstances work against us and we genuinely can't keep to a promise, then the best solution would be to let the person know as soon as possible and arrange for a replacement for that promise. Not all promises can be replaced. The important thing is that we try.
None of us can keep all our promises. I have to shamefully admit that I myself have broken a few. Nevertheless, I ensure to the best of my ability that I keep all my promises regardless of how difficult they may be. If someone expects something of me, it is only proper that I live up to their expectations. I only wished everyone else valued their promises more than people in general do.
What are promises? An indication of commitment? Why do we make them? Why do we break them? Promises are a way of letting someone know that we are commited to what we pledge. But when is it a promise? Is it different to say "Alright, I'll meet you at 1pm tomorrow" as opposed to "I promise to meet you at 1pm tomorrow"? Clearly, a promise doesn't have to be formalised by indicating that it really is a promise. Rather, one enters into a promise by committing oneself to an agreement. Probably promise isn't the best word to use. Nevertheless, it is simple and everyone understands it.
So what's the deal with promises? Well, too many people break them. Too many people take them for granted. It's easy to make promises or commitments you can't keep. The difficult thing in many cases is keeping the promises. Why then do people make promises they can't or don't intend to keep? Probably a decline in social integrity in general. The thing that frustrates me the most is people who have the audacity to make claims like "rules are meant to be broken" or "you can't keep all your promises". If that was the case, why make rules or promises at all? Many people disregard the whole principle of making a promise. This is why in modern society, the honour system rarely works.
It's not about not wanting to disappoint someone. For example, if someone asked you to come for a gathering and you said yes even though you don't want to go just so the person doesn't feel disappointed. Then you do a no-show. Is that going to make the person feel better in any way? On the contrary, the person would be expecting you and would feel let-down that you did not show up. On the other hand, if you said no from the beginning then the person would not have any expectations of you aside from an initial feeling of disappointment.
They may only be words. But the words carry meaning. They carry a commitment. Promises shouldn't be promises of convenience. Rather, they should be promises of genuine intent. If not, don't make the promise at all. It saves everyone the frustration and disappointment.
A popular way of breaking a promise (or FFK as Chinese call it) is by giving an excuse and saying sorry. Sorry. The word most taken for granted. It's easy to just call a person an hour before an appointment and say "Sorry but I can't make it". This ignores the fact that the person who was stood up would have been expecting and preparing for the appointment and may have gone out of his/her way to keep it. Sorry isn't a cure. It means nothing without sincerity. I'm not saying that sorry is a useless word. It is in fact one of the most powerful words. However, it is used so often in the most trivial circumstances that it is now difficult to appreciate a genuine expression of sorrow.
The point is, promises should be taken seriously. Breaking a promise may be easy enough to do, but it won't be so for the person on the other end. Sometimes, we make promises we don't like. Regardless, a promise is a promise. It should be kept even if we don't like it. We should do our best to keep each promise we make. If circumstances work against us and we genuinely can't keep to a promise, then the best solution would be to let the person know as soon as possible and arrange for a replacement for that promise. Not all promises can be replaced. The important thing is that we try.
None of us can keep all our promises. I have to shamefully admit that I myself have broken a few. Nevertheless, I ensure to the best of my ability that I keep all my promises regardless of how difficult they may be. If someone expects something of me, it is only proper that I live up to their expectations. I only wished everyone else valued their promises more than people in general do.
posted by Lä§t_H¤Pê at
9:32 PM
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