Straight into the thick of things...

This year is a strange year in Adelaide. Usually, Easter falls in our 2-week mid-semester break. This year however, we only have our 4-day weekend for Easter and will only be having our mid-semester break in 2 weeks. Man, I'm so looking forward to the holidays. Easter was fun. As usual I went to church and it was packed to the brim with people having to stand at the entrance. The rest of the day was more or less uneventful because all the shops were closed. Monday was our Pharmacy group trip to Semaphore which was to allow the group of us who came here in first year to mix around with the new SIT students who came this year (3rd year). The trip was great with more than 30 people tagging along. We enjoyed a pot-luck lunch and involved ourselves with a game of monkey (where I was victimised simply because I chose to make the game more interesting by bouncing the ball off others to make them the monkey), walks on the beach and football. Haven't had a group trip in a while so it was rather fun.

I spent the whole day today (Wednesday) in the office again. This time it was like 9am to 5.30pm. Then went for a Golden Key meeting at 6pm and came back after about 15 minutes. Had problems with the media today. Our Association Council resolved to disaffiliate from the national postgraduate students association, CAPA earlier this year following the submission that was tabled by last year's president. CAPA are really crap and we pay them tens of thousands of dollars for practically nothing in return. I don't have any regrets attempting to disaffiliate from them. However, someone leaked the submission to the media and they are pouncing on it. I was warned that the media may twist our proposal to disaffiliate into fuel to support VSU citing that student funds are not being used properly by student organisations and such. As a result, I had to twist the story around and claim that it was because of the Government's intention to introduce VSU that we had to disaffiliate as a cost saving measure. Thank goodness the article in today's newspaper reported my comment accurately. Spent most of the day formulating media releases and considering what to do with the disaffiliation meeting on Monday. Managed to sort out most of it by the end of the day. I intended to spend some time studying in office today but wasn't able to due to this issue and me having to attend 3 meetings today.

Was watching American Idol today while having dinner. Simon seems to be getting a little soft in my opinion. Probably because Paula tries to suffocate him with her "affection" every time there is a hint that he may want to criticise a contestant. It's a pity though. Simon can be a real dick at times but you must admit that he really knows his stuff. I mean, if you look at it closely enough, Simon has the best skills at observing the whole performance of a contestant and is able to identify key points that add or subtract to the contestant's performance. People get angry and frustrated when Simon is mean but honestly, they act that way only because they are unable to accept the truth about themselves. Can't some of these rubbish performers look at themselves in the mirror? Some of them are so atrociously bad and yet they have the audacity to question the judges' decision. Oh well, humans are well known for the sin of pride.

My Malaysian Students Association AGM is coming up in two days. Sent a few e-mails to remind everyone about it. I really hope many good people turn up. I would have really liked to see MySA develop into a strong association and I really regret not putting more effort into it. Nothing much I can say though because my priorities last year were towards the Students Association General Elections. Oh well, I'll just have to make sure I give a lot of support and encouragement to the new president. I really hope I can get a dedicated and skillful president backed by a strong and supportive committee. Then at least I'll be satisfied that my effort put into establishing the club does not go to waste.

Managed to put some time into study tonight. I have a Pharmacology test next Friday so I'd better get studying. After all, I need to make sure I do well in all my papers so that I can not only keep my job but be respected for being able to handle both my job and studies well. It's interesting that our HR Manager, Simone pointed out today that I was studying and yet I came into office more often than any other President she has worked with. I thought I wasn't coming in enough! Made me feel good though that no one was thinking I wasn't around enough. Don't want to fall into Leisa's situation. I hope things settle down soon so I can give enough time to my studies...

Personal Thought 3...

The last one in a long time. This was dated 13th March 2004. It's the most often talked about topic: Relationships.

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Hi everyone,

I’m back…! It’s been a very long while since my last e-mail about my thoughts. Too long in fact. Well, that doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking. It’s just that too many things have been going on in my mind that I couldn’t find the time nor strength to write an e-mail by examining my thoughts and putting them into understandable words. Regardless, I’ve got my mind on track now and am able to focus on a topic which I feel would be of most interest to the majority of you.

Today I’ll talk about something most of you would have either experienced or are experiencing, whether directly or indirectly. Yup, the thing that most people our age find themselves in. Relationships. Not just mere friendly relations or with family etc. What I’m talking about is a relationship between a guy and gal which most people would interpret as “love”.

Where shall I start? I guess we’ll go to the beginning, for the sake of those not yet in a relationship. Ask yourself the question. Why would I want to get into a relationship? Many people would ridicule this question and say things like, “When you find that special someone, you will get into a relationship regardless of what you plan beforehand”. I agree. However, you need to consider what the important things are in your life. By having a relationship, what are the possible ways in which it may change your life? If it does change your life (which it obviously will in most cases), will it be for better or for worse? If it were for the better; could it be that it is good for you but not for your studies (etc.)? You need to consider whether you will dictate how the relationship affects your life or whether the relationship itself will dictate YOUR life.

I know it sounds like a whole lot of rubbish and I must admit that if I were in a situation in which I would be strongly considering a relationship with someone, those questions may not influence my decision one bit. However, it does help you (to a certain extent) to prepare you for what comes ahead. I know a lot of people stick to the saying “cross the bridge when you come to it”. However, I would think it is better to stick to the saying “be prepared”. By that I don’t mean you should just sit around and wonder when the next “suitable” person may come along. What I mean is we should prepare ourselves so that we are well equipped to handle the situation when it arises. For example, we learn how to “fix bridges” in case we find that when we reach “the bridge”, it is broken.

Just remember. Relationships will ultimately lead to 2 consequences. Either you will end up marrying the person, or you will break-up with that person. We can crudely say that relationships will either end up with at least one party feeling happy (or blissful) or sad (I should think sad is not much of an appropriate word. Probably shattered would be more adequate).

Ok, we’ve gotten past the first hurdle; i.e. the pre-relationship period. Now we come to the important stage, the relationship proper. So you’re now in a relationship. What next? Well, what can I say? It’s up to you. I can’t tell you how to behave in a relationship or how to keep it lively etc. It’s up to you to decide how you should approach your relationship. The most important thing is to BE YOURSELF!!! I can’t stress this more seriously. It is common for people who take relationships very seriously to care so much for a person that he/she causes the person to suffocate in the relationship. I know it is silly and I myself find it hard to comprehend. I mean, if I love my partner so very much, shouldn’t it be good because she will know how much I care for her? It seems that “loving someone too much” can cause you to change in the sense that you try too hard to love the person while you are unaware of the fact that by doing so, you have actually changed and probably lost the part of you which your partner likes (or loves).

The problem with relationships is that in most cases, people do not know what their partner expects from the relationship and from them. Many people break-up because they find that their partner is not what they expect. They feel that they “cannot understand” their partner or feel that their partner is “not suitable”. Fair enough. However I feel that that is an easy way out of a relationship, especially if a person is not willing to commit himself/herself to the relationship. Relationships are about discovering and exploring your partner. Not physically (to any perverts reading this) but emotionally and personally. If we already knew everything about our partner, how can the relationship be interesting anymore? It would most probably lead to a break-up. Most couples in successful relationships will tell you that they continue to learn something new about their partner even after 50 years of marriage!

Some people feel that cultural and religious differences may prevent them from being a good couple. However, I would think that it will be more interesting because they can learn much more about their partner and always have things to talk about. Obviously people would consider things like what religion their children will be if they think far ahead. My suggestion is to give time for the relationship. You can’t possibly understand your partner by just being with him/her for 1 month let’s say. You can’t say, “I have been with him/her for 1 month and I feel he/she is not suitable for me”. You guys started the relationship. Make an effort to know your partner and give time to really understand him/her. Time is an important part in all relationships and is integral if you want your relationship with your partner to be a lasting one.

Sure, a lot of people will say “I’ll break up with my partner early so that I won’t hurt him/her by carrying on the relationship for a long time”. However, this brings me back to my above point. You cannot possibly honestly understand your partner by being together for just a short while. You may think that your partner will be hurt less if you break up early than if you break up late but in truth, the earlier you break up the more hurt your partner will be. Your partner would most probably feel that he/she did not get much of a chance and that their partner was just playing with their feelings. Some people will say that after a month they may feel that they don’t really like/love their partner and they believe they should end the relationship. However, I believe that this happens because being in the relationship is new to them. Of course they may have had other partners before. However, the relationship between the BOTH OF THEM is new. We can never compare two relationships. Each relationship is different and unique. That’s what makes them so special. So what I am trying to say is that even though the couple may have been very good friends and enjoyed each other’s company for a long time before the relationship, things will always change because of the relationship. Relationships are more serious and there are more responsibilities for both parties. Because of this, it is easy to lose sight of the partner you like/love and instead feel that you are both not suitable. This is a trap many couples fall into at the beginning of their relationships leaving their partners devastated and utterly hurt. Like I said; give time for the relationship to grow. Don’t pull out the plant just before the flower comes out.

On the subject of being with your partner; DON’T EVER start a relationship if you are not going to be serious about it. NEVER play with your partner’s feelings. Sometimes people feel they just want to “try out” and “see how it works” so they start a relationship with their partner. Then they feel they don’t want to carry on and they dump their partner. I am begging you on behalf of everyone in the world with a heart. Don’t get into a relationship if you are not going to make a reasonable effort to try your best to make the relationship work. It is both unfair and hurtful to your partner. I’m very sure that none of you who receive this e-mail do this. However I know some of you forward this e-mail to your other friends and as such, some people who get this e-mail may do these things. Just remember. What goes around comes around (or you can call it “karma” or “ying and yang”). If you hurt others because you are not serious about the relationship; trust me, you’ll get your payback. God is fair and He counts every teardrop your partner may shed because of your heartlessness.

I’m not cursing anyone. It’s just that I have seen too many people (all girls) get hurt by guys who play with their feelings. It is both cruel and inhuman.

Another thing vital to relationships is HONESTY. This should form the backbone of every relationship. Sometimes, people may feel that their partner doesn’t seem to be doing what they expect from the relationship. In this case, TELL YOUR PARTNER. Do not just sit back and think “he/she should know what I want”. Your partner isn’t a mind reader or a clairvoyant. He/she cannot fully understand everything you want if you do not tell him/her. Talk with your partner. Exchange views, wants, needs etc. so that you can get closer together and forge a stronger relationship. If you get into a fight, be honest and ask for forgiveness (both of you) after that. Share your life with your partner. Don’t live as two individuals. Live as a couple with your partner.

So far we have skimmed the surface and probably even gone a little deep into the fibers which make up a relationship. Now I’ll go into a place which seems to be a growing trend in these times. That is sex. This is often considered to be taboo and many people shy away from this subject. However, I believe that by making it a taboo, it will only succeed in making people more curious about it and want to experiment with it even more.

Many couples (mostly the guys) see sex as the pivotal part of a relationship. Some girls feel that by having sex with a guy, it guarantees his love and will strengthen the relationship. These perceptions are extremely dangerous. Sex DOES NOT, and NEVER WILL guarantee happiness in a relationship. Sex DOES NOT commit your partner to marry you or stay with you. If you have a baby with your partner, THERE IS NO GUARANTEE that your partner must continue to care for and support you. In actual fact, it is found that sex before marriage causes more relationships to deteriorate than to become stronger. Understand the implications of sex. Most couples will feel that their partner is “THE ONE” they will always be with and marry etc. and as such, would submit themselves into this act of passion. You can never be more wrong if you think this way. What will you do if he/she does not marry you? What are you going to tell your future husband/wife (especially if they are virgins)? You see, sex before marriage spoils your chances of having a really happy marriage with someone else if you broke-up with the person you had sex with.

If your partner asks you to have sex with him/her, ask him/her why. If he/she says it is because he/she loves you, ask them why they must have sex just because he/she loves him/her. I am sure your partner would never be able to give a suitable explanation. Please remember. LOVE ≠ SEX. Save it for marriage. You can never go wrong there.

You may think I am a closed minded person just because I disagree with pre-marital sex. You may say that “I need to follow the times” etc. Does it make anyone stupid or useless if they did not have pre-marital sex? Are they losers? If you have had sex before, you may think it is fun. However if you think about it… Honestly. You will see that the disadvantages attributed to pre-marital sex far outweigh the single benefit of “having fun”. The real losers are those who indulge in pre-marital sex. They have just limited their future.

It is obvious in relationships that there will be kissing, petting etc. Just control yourselves and never let it get to the point where you start to undress everything. You may think you are in control but in truth, you are on the brink of losing control. Prevent it from happening instead of regretting it later.

Well, I guess I’ve touched on most aspects of a relationship. I’ll wrap it up with the final stage of a relationship. As I mentioned, there are 2. It is useless for me to talk about marriage now since at this age, it would be of little to no relevance to us. Therefore, I’ll skip to the part which most people will dread. The break-up.

If you caused the break-up, all I can say is examine yourself with my points in the above e-mail and seriously consider what you have done. Consider whether you really gave your ex a chance and whether you could have done more to try and make the relationship work. If you feel that you may not have treated your ex appropriately and given him/her a fair chance, there is no shame in taking him/her back. I strongly believe that he/she will be extremely happy if he/she really likes/loves you. Give them a chance and try to work things out. And this time, give them more time. If you feel that he/she is a real screw up and you cannot stand being with him/her, at least treat him/her as a good friend. Don’t just leave them to rot away. Take their hand and help them get up from their darkness and pain. If you dumped your ex because he/she hurt you terribly or cheated on you, just keep in mind that you deserve someone better. Never settle for someone who does not treat you well. You are special and you WILL find the right person eventually.

If you were dumped, consider the reasons as to WHY you were dumped. If you were a terrible partner who didn’t treat your ex well or cheated on your ex then you very well deserve it and I have little to no sympathy for you. The rest of you are probably in pain even until now. If you really love your ex, by all means try and get her back. In most cases, he/she would probably not want to take you back and would say that “it’s impossible” or something along those lines. Sure, you can’t force people to love you. Also, people say “if you truly love the person, you will let him/her go”. However, I believe that at times, although you need to care about others, you also need to think about your happiness. You may not stand much of a chance getting your ex back. But just give it all you’ve got. Do your best. Don’t pressure your ex too much. If it’s meant to be, you will get him/her back. If it’s not meant to be, at least you will know that you have done your best. Just give it all you’ve got. Be strong and hold on, it’s not the end.

There is no point in continuing to be sad that you were dumped. Like I said, go ahead and try to get him/her back if you really love him/her. But don’t try to act sad to gain sympathy from your ex. It’ll make you look even more pathetic. I know it may be hard to see your ex happy while you are sad. And I am sure that many of you will be scared that your ex may find someone else. However, it is no use feeling sorry for yourself. Life is too short to be crying every night about something you’ve lost. Get up, stand up. It may be hard, but remember that there are many others who care about you and may feel sad seeing you in a bad condition. Don’t let others down just because you are sad. Carry on living your life as you used to live before you were dumped. Maybe then if you really love your ex, he/she may realize his/her mistake and give you another chance. Just do your best…

I guess that pretty much wraps everything up. I would love to hear feedback if anyone has any. Hope this proved an interesting read for you guys and that you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed typing it. Have fun and live a wholesome life. Take care and God bless!


Justin


P/s. These are just my thoughts and my way of looking at things. I am in no way implying that what I say is correct and true. Because they are MY thoughts, you may think differently. I do not guarantee that these thoughts will make a relationship work out. I am also not in any way responsible for any break-ups that may happen because you read this e-mail. Take everything you read/hear with a pinch of salt.

Personal Thought 2...

This one was dated 22nd July 2003. It mainly talks about what makes a person important.

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Hi to all! Wow, what a week it's been in the world. Regina won Big Brother 3 (Go Reggie!!!)... Adelaide Crows lost to the Dockers by just 1 point... The Ronaldinho saga ended (or has it?) with him signing for Barca... Coalition troops are going down like flies in Iraq... Delta Goodrem was diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease just when she's on top of the world (wonder how they'll change the storyline in Neighbours)... KobeBryant gets caught up in a rape scandal... The Iranian twins both die after the operation to separate them... Sigh... Makes you wonder what's up with the world no?

So what really is the problem? How does this all affect us? What makes all the above news so important that it can be so highly publicized by the media? Why is it that a singer/actor who gets cancer (a disease quite common nowadays) causes so much hoo-ha when so many others have the disease? Why is it that a simple girl who fries fish and chips can touch the lives of millions of Australians who just watch her for half an hour a day (don't count BB Uncut, late night and nomination/eviction shows)? Why is it that people are so interested in a basketball player who allegedly raped a woman when there are hundreds of rapists on our streets?

Celebrities? What makes a person a celebrity? What makes a person popular? Someone people like? Someone who does something people enjoy watching? We would consider most celebrities as people who play specific roles in society that make them well-known because of intense media scrutiny (i.e. publicity). For example, Delta is a singer and actor, Kobe plays basketball, Bush is the US president and so on. However isn't it weird that some people become instant celebrities by just being normal? People such as the Iranian twins, Regina, Chrissie, Dan, Jo and the rest of the Big Brother housemates or Pvt. Lynch who just had to get rescued by US troops. Could we say that they were in the right place at the right time (as in the case of Pvt. Lynch)? Or can we say that they were willing to show their true selves in front of the nation (as in the case of the BB housemates)?

All in all, it becomes extremely clear that the media is what makes a celebrity or identity in today's society. No matter how good we are at something or how interesting we are, we can only truly become "popular" if we are publicized in the papers, tv, radio and other forms of mass media (which are usually less effective than the ones mentioned). The world seems more and more to have been divided into two groups of individuals; those who are celebrities and those who are not. Those who take an interest in certain people and those who are taken into interest by certain people. In lay man's terms; the popular and the non-popular.

Despite all these stereotypes, does it make us plain Jane's any less special? Are we less important merely because we are not known by more than a few thousand people, follow trends set by the "popular people" or don't look anything like Tom Cruise or AnnaKournikova? Must we be "known" to others in order to be "important" people? Surely not!

I'm sure everyone has heard of the saying "God made every single person unique/special". This is true in every sense of the word. Don't think that you are not special just because you can count the number of friends you have on the fingers of one hand. "Why am I special?" you may ask. Why indeed?

Sometimes, we see ourselves as just being passengers on this rollercoaster called life. We just go wherever the rollercoaster takes us. We wake up, go to uni, come home, finish homework, sleep and restart the cycle. Life just seems so monotonous. Like a rollercoaster that just goes on the loop-the-loop forever. In addition, we get those buggered exams that squeeze all the juice out of our brain cells for a couple of weeks. Sometimes those exams are so hard we just feel like giving up. Sometimes life gets tough and we feel like giving up. So why not give up? Think again.

What motivates us to do what we do? What makes us go to uni and sit for exams? Let's make it simpler. Why do we need to work? Easy. To get money. Why do we need money? That's where it varies tremendously from person to person. For some (and most) people it would be to be able to enjoy life, to support the family, to put food on the table etc. Others may have different reasons such as to pay the medical bill for a child who is terminally ill, to cover a child's education or to fund a personal project. Now let's go back to the initial questions. What makes us go to uni and sit for exams? For most, it will be to get the degree we are pursuing and get a good job to get money to do the above. That's all great. However that all deals with what we personally want and at times, we may say we do not want it or don't care; making us feel like giving up. Why not look at it this way... We study to do well in exams so that we can make our parents happy. Let's go further. We study to do well in exams to get a scholarship to make our parents happy and ease the financial burden. Let's go even further. We study to do well to get a scholarship, which motivates our siblings/relatives to do well. See how easy it is? One more step. We study to do well to get a scholarship, motivate our siblings, increase the chance of getting a better job, increase the possibility of being able to live in comfort while being able to support our parents in their old age. Now try it on the first question in this paragraph.

You see, what I am trying to do is make you guys see that you are indeed important. It's so easy to see those directly affected by our actions. However look further, and you'll see that your actions will trigger a chain reaction which indirectly affects a multitude of people. You may think you are nothing, when to others; you may be the whole world. I'm sure you've heard the saying "Don't stop smiling because you'll never know who has fallen in love with your smile" (though I cannot say that I adhere strictly to that saying).

This world is not only about you (as a single person). We are not alone in this world even though during hard times, we may seem to be all alone (though through Faith, I can say that I am never alone). You may think you won't affect anything/anyone by just giving up. However in truth if you ever do, you'll hurt the ones who love you more than you can ever imagine. Believe me, there are always people who love you, even if you don't know about it. If you take a small pin and prick yourself with it, then touch the tip of the pin onto a piece of tissue paper, you'll see that the stain starts from a miniscule dot and spreads to become a larger blotch. That's the effect of all your actions. No matter how small or how insignificant an action may seem, in the end the consequence and sequel are far greater than we originally believe it to be.

So what is this e-mail about? It's just some encouragement to those who need it. Don't ever give up. You only fail when you stop trying. You are the lead character and the most important person in your story. Make a great book with a happy ending out of your story...

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I wish all of you well. Take care and God bless!

Justin

P/S. A big thank you to all those who replied to my last e-mail ("Personal Thought") about the analogy of scars and bad experiences. I really value your insight. I have not replied to some of your ideas and comments but rest assured that I will in due time. I know to some of you it seemed a tad bit sorrowful or that I was in some sort of pain. Rest assured that it was all merely some thoughts and that my aim was to dispense that advice which I used for certain people to others so that they may benefit from it if they need it. I will try and keep the tone more cheerful (like in this e-mail) in future e-mails but it will be a little difficult since my thoughts are basically about how to overcome certain problems faced by people. Thanks again guys and cheers to all of you!

Personal Thought 1...

This was my first in a series of personal thoughts I sent to my friends. It contains my famous "analogy of scars". This is dated 19th May 2003.
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Hi guys,

It's been a while. Hope all of you are coping well with life wherever you are in the world. I have a little free time on my hands now so I thought I'd share one of my thoughts with you guys. I don't usually share my thoughts and when I do, it's usually only with people whom I know will best appreciate it. Also, I wouldn't want other people claiming my thoughts as their own. But since this particular thought has helped a number of people, I thought I'd share it with you guys. Keep in mind that I am in no way implying that these thoughts apply to you guys. If this thought as much as puts a smile on your face, it has done enough in my opinion. If it helps you, all the better. I'll just put it here and you guys can decide what you want to do with it. (This may be a little long so I suggest you only read it when you have free time on your hands)

As we journey along the path of life, we encounter many different experiences which shape ourselves and the way we perceive the world. Some experiences are good, some are bad. These two go hand in hand; you won't get good experiences every day of you life, neither will you get bad experiences every day of your life. I won't touch on the good experiences because it is too easy to deal with. I'll focus on the bad experiences we encounter.

Let's take this analogy. Bad experiences are like scars on our body. When we first encounter that experience, it wounds our body. The pain is intense and may even force us to shed tears. When others inflict more pain unto us while we are suffering from this experience, they are rubbing salt into our wounds. The pain of the wound may go on for days, and in relation to real life, possibly years. However, eventually those wounds will heal and turn into scars. The scars remind us of the bad experience we've experienced. It tells us to avoid situations which could inflict the damage that caused that scar. It tells us that we are healed, and that we should carry on without worrying about the scar anymore. It acts as a reminder for us, not of the bad experience, but of the pain that we must avoid in the future. Despite its appearance, the scars never hurt. The pain is gone and though it is still a memory, should never cause us pain again. It is only when we scratch those scars, when we dwell on the bad experiences we've had, that we feel the pain all over again. As long as we keep those scars as reminders of things we have to avoid, not as reminders of what happened, we will be able to carry on with life free and strong.

Conclusion: It is never possible to not get wounded. However, it IS possible to prevent ourselves from being wounded. You've heard the saying "once bitten twice shy". That's what the scars are there for. To remind us that we have to avoid situations which can scar our body, which can hurt us. We should only cry over a bad experience ONCE. That is when the pain is most intense. Once we've gotten used to the pain, it becomes bearable and we eliminate the need for tears. NEVER dwell on those past bad experiences. When we do, the pain reoccurs and we cry again.

I'm not saying that we don't "look to the past to learn our mistakes". If you think about it, you actually DO do that. That is when the wound is still fresh, before it becomes a scar. We question how we got the scar, what we did to get the scar (or "what did I do to deserve this?", "why does it have to happen to me?"), what we should have done to avoid it. What I'm trying to say is, don't look back on the experiences AFTER the wound has healed and the scars have formed. The scars just indicate what to avoid. It doesn't tell us what we did and what happened in the past.

The many scars on our body doesn't indicate that we are weak or unlucky or anything negative for that matter. Instead it indicates the strength we've gained by learning from our mistakes and overcoming the pain. It makes a stronger and gives us a bigger perspective of life. It offers us a new paradigm. It indicates that we have plotted our maps; and we have marked down all the danger zones. We don't know what lies ahead. It could be gardens of Eden, or it could be a deep dark pit. We'll only know what lies ahead by walking forward. The path is set in front of us, though we cannot see that which lies ahead. We plot the good experiences as places we would like to visit again sometime in the future. I'm a curious explorer. I'll continue journeying through life and plotting my map until I reach the edge of my paper. At that point, when it is time to put down my pen and pass up my map, I will look back at the journey of my life and appreciate it for all its worth. I hope the same goes for all of you guys too...

I'll leave it here for you guys to ponder and maybe even sleep on if you are reading this at night (which I would encourage, since this is the time when you are the most relaxed). Take care of yourselves and God bless.


Cheers,
Justin


P/S. Just for fun? (my maths course coordinator loves to put an optional section with this title at the end of our homework questions)
Consider the case where we share in the pain of others. How does that affect us in terms of the "analogy of scars" and in real life? I have my thoughts but I'd love to hear your opinions if you have any!

Personal thoughts...

Throughout 2003 and 2004 I sent e-mails to my friends containing my thoughts on random matters. The "Personal Thoughts" collection has been sitting in my hard drive for quite a while now. I've tried hosting it on websites and such but it has not proven to be succesful. Thus, my next few blog entries will be amazingly long as I will be just copying and pasting the documents. I hope you enjoy them...

Cross my heart...

Good Friday... I wonder who came up with that name. Why is it good? Was it because Jesus sacrificed himself for the good of humankind? Sounds a little jovial for a day that is usually reflected more sorrowfully in the liturgies and observed as a day of fast and abstinence by Catholics (such as myself). Last night I was browsing through the Friendster forums and came upon a topic that interested me. It began with a Muslim chap posting a few verses from the Gospels and claiming that Jesus was prophesising the coming of the Prophet Muhammad. Obviously, this topic received many replies which were both interesting and informative. It was obvious though that the verses used were not prophesising the coming of Muhammad but instead the pouring out of the Holy Spirit unto believers.

I find it interesting that although we can look at all the facts, in the end, it is difficult to disprove any of the major religions of the world. We have reached an era where almost everything can be proven and scientifically explained. However with all the knowledge we have (such as being able to know when men first appeared, when dinosaurs roamed the earth and so on), we are still unable to determine which religion is the "correct" religion (for want of a better word). Why is it that humans have religion? What is it that makes people believe in something that cannot be seen? The most common analogy to answer this question is the analogy of air. We do not see it but we know it is there. However faith in God is different. For most of us, we can't see it. Some can't feel it. How do you justify something that cannot present itself except through books and words? Yes, the spiritual can spend weeks arguing their case. However, no matter how much one explains about a particular religion, it is faith that ultimately pushes a person into accepting a particular religion. You can argue that some people are forced to accept religion by birth. In this case however, the faith of the person can be determined by the adherence of that individual to their religion by birth when he or she reaches an age whereby he or she can make logical, informed decisions and be able to think in such a way. Faith is a very special thing. It is something some people are willing to die for. In fact, most people dedicate their whole lives to faith. I'm not talking about priests and clergymen here. What I'm talking about is normal everyday humans such as you and I. Most religions teach paths to follow to achieve the ultimate goal of humans (i.e. to reach Heaven, Nirvana or whatever). These paths tend to promote certain types of behaviour and warn against other types of behaviour. These paths guide and structure our lives and the way we interact with others. Isn't it amazing that people who have faith can live a life guided by rules and restrictions that others without faith would not think twice about? Faith is something that cannot be matched by any other form of trust. All other forms of trust are usually short term or only applicable in certain situations in life. Faith on the other hand puts trust in a belief encompassing all aspects of a person's life.

Why do I believe in God? Why do I have faith? I was born a Catholic. My parents brought my brother and I to Church every Sunday and enrolled us into Sunday School and taught us to live a proper life. Was that the reason I chose to believe? Well, although it had a strong impact on shaping my life, I must say that the bulk of my faith comes from God Himself. It was only in my teenage years that God really began to play a major part in my life. Yes, I prayed every day when I was young. However as I grew older, it became obvious that my prayers were being answered every time, even if it was not directly. I felt a closeness to Him I never felt before. There are so many instances I can look back on where he pulled me back and preserved me from doing something I would regret. There were also times where he let me make a mistake so that I would eventually learn from it and change for the better. Seeing is believing. I may not have seen God Himself with my own eyes, but I see Him in everything I do in my life. I really cannot explain it. It is something so surreal yet so strong. Many people live their lives for themselves and enjoy every moment of it. They look at people like me and laugh at our restrictive lives. I do not at all believe my life is restrictive. In fact, I feel free. The freedom you get with trusting your life with someone so magnificent and caring and infinite is overwhelming. My strength comes from my faith. Faith is what guides me and will continue to guide me every day, hour, minute, second and for all eternity in my journey through life and beyond...

Jaded...

What a tiring day. Wednesdays are meant to be my day off from study. No such luxury for me though. Wednesdays are a chance for me to catch up with my work as President. Had to force myself out of bed this morning and head to uni early to prepare for my Council meeting today. Got my photos that were taken for University Council today. Somehow or other I'm never fully happy with my photos. Guess i'm not very photogenic. I can take 20 photos of myself and not one of them would I deem acceptable. Oh well, maybe I'm just a little too vain. Finally chose two photos that were reasonable.

Council today went for 5 hours! What a record we set. We started at 12pm and since the close of business is 5pm I had to rush the meeting so that the staff could go home. The main issue which took more than an hour to discuss was again VSU. The Government is getting on my nerves. They have no idea how big an impact VSU will have. We'll be losing about 4 and a half million dollars. Imagine what we have to do to recoup that. We would have to do things we would never normally consider. Our whole focus now changes from serving the students to surviving to ensure we can continue to provide service. I find it difficult to believe that some people can even support VSU. Don't they see how many people will suffer with this legislation? All they can think about is getting back their couple of hundred dollars. The thing that pisses me off the most is that people who actually support VSU are those with secure jobs, families and are financially stable. Don't they even care about those less fortunate than themselves who rely on the services we provide? The Government has not been able to answer our questions. It's completely ridiculous. Brendan Nelson goes a full circle when the difficult questions are put to him and dodges them completely. All he can say is that it is all about freedom of choice. If that's the case, make everything a freedom of choice. Why should Australians who oppose the war in Iraq be forced to pay taxes that are used to fund the war? Some people have the audacity to say that we can't compare Union fees to taxes. Why not? You argue that it's the principle of the matter. The fact is that if you are saying it should be a freedom, we should apply the freedom to everything else in the country. I do not understand how some people can seriously believe in a principle that does not hold water and cannot defend its own arguments. Oh well, human beings are idiots. All they do is look out for themselves. It's not easy to find a more selfish creature.

Dealing with Council is like herding cattle. You need to push hard enough and they will follow your direction. It's interesting that Council this year seems to agree on everything and also agree with what I say. It makes things a lot easier. But then again it gets boring after a while. It would be interesting to see a split in the votes for once. Oh well, at least I know they are supportive of me. Although this is going to be an extremely tough year as President, it's very reassuring to know that you have an active and supportive Council complemented with a strong financial position for the Association. Makes this job a whole lot easier. We still need to do a lot though. It's difficult because we are still students and many of use do not know the implications of certain actions. Getting rid of a service may cause another department to lose out and so on. It's all very tightly knit together. That's why we'll need to call for professional help and develop a strategic plan for our Association.

I wonder how I'm going to cope with my studies. Every day I say to myself that I will study later. But it keeps being postponed as I am so tired by the time I get home. I really need the holidays. I need to catch up big time. I feel bad for having to rely on my friends to help me with preparation for tutorials or take notes for me when I miss lectures. Must make sure I repay them in due time. This blog seems to be more like a diary. The problem is that I can't seem to think of interesting things to type about at the moment because my mind is so numb. I'll make sure I type out some of my thoughts in future when I'm not so tired. Oh well, better get back to my work...

Prologue...

I lead a rather interesting life in my opinion. I've achieved a lot that I am proud of in my life. Couldn't have done it without some help from upstairs though. I'm currently juggling my studies as a Pharmacy student and my work as President of the Students Association in my university. It's tough I must admit. It's good though. Keeps me occupied and allows me to do something I actually like doing while I am not studying. However, I need to focus a little more on my studies. It's getting difficult now especially because of the Government's attack on student organisations. I chose a tough time to be the President. But well... Did I actually choose to be President? I won it but then I lost it. Then I got it back again. The first time I won it I didn't actually expect it and I didn't even campaign for it. But the second time I actually made sure I got it. Why did I sign the deal? When I found out I won the position I was not too ecstatic. I didn't mind if I didn't get it. But after I lost it, it made me want it even more. Now here I am. I've been in this position for almost 3 months. Things have been going well. Everything was smooth. All until last Wednesday. Voluntary Student Unionism (VSU) has turned everything around. I can't believe how bad the timing could be. As it is things were shaping up to be a great year with our Association blossoming and reps working extremely well together. Now the Government wants to wipe it all off; and I'm left with the task of making sure we don't collapse next year. Is that going to be tough? Hell yeah. It's been a crazy week for me. Phone calls have not stopped with the media hounding me all day (strangely enough they don't seem to publish me much) and staff members wanting assurances. What am I supposed to do? I'm the head of the organisation. However, it feels terrible when I have to ultimately be involved in ending the job of a staff member. How must it feel for them? Knowing that their jobs are in the hands of students. Should I act in the interests of the organisation or in the interests of human beings? The problem is; they're both related. If I act in the interests of the staff members as human beings who need a job the organisation runs the risk of collapsing and in the end, both staff and students will suffer. On the other hand if I act in the interests of the organisation, I will start to question my ethics. Should humans be seen as merely a resource to run the organisation? What a dilemma! No matter what step I take, someone will lose. How do you deal with a situation where you are damned if you do and damned if you don't? It's interesting though. A challenge nonetheless. There is a reason I'm here. There's a reason I got this position when I didn't plan for it. I wanted to be City East Branch Director this year, Central International Rep next year and President when I graduated. Circumstances seem to have thrown my plans out the window. Then again, I may well be the last President of the Association. Good timing? It could be. Then again I would be kidding myself. God has given me a lot. I'm not the typical ultra-religious "holier than thou" type of person. But I'm not stupid either. I should be able to recognise that after all He's done for me. What a trial He's put before me! Like a sword I will have to pass through the heat of the flames to be refined into a magnificent blade. I will fight this to the end. Too many things are at stake. Too many people will suffer if I screw up. I can't screw up. I won't. The weight of expectation placed on my shoulders will only motivate me to fight even harder for those who depend on me. After all, I would want that if I were in their situation. I must admit that I am tired. Really tired. Sometimes I don't have the strength to carry on. But when I think of how much depends on what I do... I can't let them down. I'll draw my strength from those that depend on me, those I fight for and ultimately, drink my water from the spring that never dries. It's going to be fun! I really love playing games. Now let the games begin...

In the beginning...

I don't know why I'm doing this. I've always thought blogs were silly things and a waste of time. But then again, I feel like doing something silly. Don't expect any great revelations from this. I won't be revealing those deep, dark, haunting secrets here. Just think of this blog as a tiny window into the workings of my mind. Maybe you'll learn something about me. Then again, maybe you won't. Regardless, I'll just post stuff up that comes up in my mind. I may contradict myself at times as well. Oh well, life itself is contradictory at times. Enough of my reasons for this blog. I've created it period. Now let's have a look at what I feel like writing...